91: The Real Reason You’re Afraid to Show Up Online (and How to Fix It) - Part 1
If people do not know you exist, they will not buy from you. It sounds simple, but visibility requires more than hitting publish on a post. It requires you to show up as your real self. It requires you to let your audience connect with your humanity. That means being honest. It means being a little messy in public. And that is where the fear kicks in.
In this week’s episode, I share the first two visibility blocks that keep entrepreneurs stuck, silent, or overthinking every word they publish. I walk you through fear of judgment and self doubt. I share stories from my own journey, from speaking on the biggest stage of my life to blocking real life people on Instagram so I could create freely again. You will learn how to find evidence that you do know what you are doing and how to support your nervous system as you grow.
This is part one of a two part series. Today we explore fear of judgment and self doubt. Next week we explore imposter syndrome and perfectionism.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
[00:00] Why you must be seen to be paid and why visibility requires honest humanity
[00:29] Why sharing your struggles matters for connection and sales
[00:58] How appropriate vulnerability builds trust with your audience
[01:15] Why visibility feels scary and how to navigate those emotions
[01:52] My prep for speaking at the Wedding MBA and how perfectionism shows up
[02:46] Why caring deeply often looks like anxiety and high standards
[04:07] How visibility triggers self reflection and inner growth
[05:30] The first two visibility blocks you must understand
[10:17] Understanding the self doubt block and where it comes from
[16:53] What my clients seek in Hot Reels and why it works
[17:50] How Instagram reflects your inner world and leadership
[18:20] Why confronting your inner blocks creates long term success
[18:46] How Hot Reels helps you build visibility, messaging, and funnels
[19:11] Why you need an intentional content system that sells for you
Key Takeaways:
Visibility requires honesty. People connect with your real story.
Fear of judgment is normal. It is part of being visible.
Negative comments often mean your content is getting more reach.
You can block people who limit your creativity or confidence.
Self doubt is a sign that you care and that you are growing.
Finding evidence of your skills strengthens your confidence.
Support, coaching, and mentorship shorten your learning curve.
Visibility work is inner work. Your business reflects your growth.
Links Mentioned:
Join the Hot Reels Waitlist: elizabethmarberry.com/hot. Get early access and bonuses when doors open in December.
A Truth You Need to Hear:
“Most people are kind. I create for the person who needs what I have. The rest is noise.”
S3 Ep91 Transcript: The Real Reason You’re Afraid to Show Up Online (and How to Fix It) - Part 1
00:00
You must be seen to be paid online or otherwise. If people don't know you exist, they simply will not purchase your service or product. But you may not understand that to be paid consistently and reliably, you have to be seen in a very particular way, a way that allows your customers and clients to align themselves with a real you, which means getting messy in public.
00:29
OMG, not in a million years, right? Let's be honest, no one loves putting their emotions, struggles, fall downs or failures out for the world to see. And being willing to share your humanity with your audience can mean the difference between crickets and cash flow. So today I'm gonna walk you through some visibility blocks and breakthroughs so you can get a
00:58
appropriately vulnerable in your marketing and sales so you can create authentic long-lasting connections with your soulmate audience and remote clients. Are you ready? Let's do it! Welcome to Streadit!
01:15
A podcast about creating bold visibility on social media with zero apologies. I'm Elizabeth Marbury, your host and Instagram marketing coach. I help small business owners get seen on Instagram and monetize their offers so they can make more money doing their sole lead work. If you're tired of spinning your wheels on Instagram and you're seeking simple, proven Instagram marketing strategies that actually work, you're in the right place. Let's dive in.
01:52
Welcome back to the show. As I am recording this a little bit in advance for you all, I am prepping to travel. I am going to Orlando to speak at the Better Bridal Group Conference about DMs to dollars leveraging DM automation in your Instagram sales funnel. And another presentation I'm giving on Instagram marketing strategy, like an overarching talk.
02:17
And then the following week, oh my goodness, I am speaking on the biggest stage of my life at the wedding MBA at the Las Vegas Convention Center. And I'm gonna be on a stage in front of uh a thousand people. If you know me, you know that I over prepare for these. My perfectionist tendencies definitely show their beautiful slash ugly head. There's a beautiful side to me being a high achiever, wanting to make sure everything is truly exceptional.
02:46
And it's exhausting, right? It's exhausting trying to go above and beyond for everything. And I tend to hold myself to a really high standard and I'm really hard on myself, especially when I'm doing something new or I'm pushing my edges. In Las Vegas, I am gonna be speaking on the biggest stage of my life in front of a thousand people.
03:14
you better believe I'm going to be ready, I'm going to be pumped, I'm going to bring the energy, the strategy, all of it, and I will want to barf right before I go on stage. Okay? That is kind of how I've always been. You know, as a former professional dancer, I have performed on really big stages in front of hundreds and hundreds of people. The shows in which I wasn't nervous, where I didn't feel those little jitters or like I wanted to barf,
03:43
were the ones that I didn't do that well, because I didn't have the energy or enthusiasm or heart for what I was doing. And so I actually don't see my anxiety or stress or perfectionism really as a problem. It's more of a sign that I care so deeply about what I'm doing, how I show up and how most importantly, I'm going to serve my audience.
04:07
I share this story with you because in today's episode, and we're going to do a part two on this too, because I want to go deep on this. We're going to explore the top four visibility blocks and breakthroughs. Today we're going to do the first two and next week we'll do the next two blocks that you need to really explore within yourself. You're going to understand how the vulnerability and visibility piece connects into a marketing strategy.
04:34
This piece is so important for social media. So if you have been showing up online, but always editing yourself or overthinking your shares, or if you've been stuck in perfectionitis, hello, I can relate, on every social media post or email that you almost send out and it's taking you hours to get anything done, or if you're struggling to talk about what you do and why, because...
05:01
other people do it so much better than you, or maybe you have been caught in the illusion that you have to feel totally ready, prepared, flawless, and fearless to finally get yourself out there and do the thing, then this little mini podcast series is totally for you. It's your jam because we're going to explore these visibility blocks. And I'm going to tell you right now what those first two blocks are.
05:30
that we're gonna explore today and then next week we'll explore the next two. The first one is fear of judgment. Okay, what are people gonna think of me? And the second visibility block is self-doubt. Am I smart enough or experienced enough to do this thing? I have met a lot of really successful business owners and entrepreneurs and not one of them uh
05:58
has ever said to me, oh, I've never struggled with self doubt. I never have struggled with that fear of what are other people gonna think of me? Like these are normal human responses to being publicly visible, okay? So I just wanna normalize if these two feelings are resonant for you, welcome to the club. This is part of why I always say building a brand, building a business is...
06:26
Truly an initiation into your next level self because it's going to bring up all your shadows, all your doubts, all your fears, that imposter energy, the perfection, right? All of the pieces. And your business is an opportunity for you to deepen your connection with yourself and those around you. So let's get into it. Block number one is that fear of judgment, right? So the truth is when you become visible,
06:55
You are going to be judged. You probably didn't think I was going to say that, right? You're going to be judged. We can't stop that from happening. The truth is that you could get some negative comments. You could get people who don't get what you're doing. You could get some hate even. I guess I just want to say that this is part of the price of being visible and uh
07:24
as a person who has built a very public brand on social media, I will tell you that most people are kind. And I know you might be shaking your head, I don't know, Elizabeth. Truly, most people are kind. And the posts in which I did get a hater, it was really honestly because that post really popped off and went viral and got in front of people who are frankly not my ideal audience. And my content's not for them.
07:54
And I don't care if they like it or not. I don't care if they want to make fun of the size of my feet or the size of my head. Like things that are just like, I can't change that about my appearance. I mean, it's so messed up, right? Like, believe me, I'm just like, ugh, what the heck? Here's what keeps me going. A, most people are kind, truly. B, I create for the person who needs what I have.
08:21
I create for the person that I am here to serve on this planet and the rest is just noise. I am not gonna let the fear of what could happen or the fear of that person that doesn't even have a profile picture who's dropping hate on my posts, stop me from serving my people. By the way, if you're ever getting a comment that is really triggering for you or whatever, obviously you can block the person. Just do it, protect yourself.
08:50
But like I said, if you're getting any kind of negative attention on social media, I hate to say it, it's a good thing because that means your content is getting seen by more people, like a much bigger audience. So kind of I celebrate when I get a hateful comment, because I'm like, oh my gosh, that must be my content is getting seen by so many more of my ideal people. Okay. Now I do want to address this other piece of fear of judgment, which is that
09:19
What about the people you know in real life? Like your mother-in-law or your cousin or your neighbor or that friend from high school who definitely follows you on Instagram. And every time you go to post, you're thinking of them and you're like, what are they going to think? Oh my God, they're going to judge me. If you have a person like that in your life, I want you to feel full permission to block them right now. I had to do this for myself.
09:48
It truly helped me to release the chains on my creativity and be more myself because I wasn't worried about what this particular person was gonna see or think or whatever, right? So I blocked them. Do I still see them in person? Sure I do. It's not like I cut them out of my life, but they don't need access to my social media. I'm doing this for my business. I'm doing this for my community. It's not for them. So full permission to block whoever you need to.
10:17
So you can feel free to create. Okay, the second block I wanna address is this block around self-doubt. Am I smart enough? Am I experienced enough to do this thing? I so relate to this because I have owned a dance studio for 15 years. It is a couples dance studio, because we do customized choreography for first dances, for weddings. Full disclosure, I haven't taught a dance lesson in my studio for over
10:46
five years, maybe seven years now, I was trying to figure that out because I have an incredible team and I get to be in the CEO visionary seat. I'm running my business. I work in it five hours a week and the business is this beautiful airplane that flies on its own. I'm so proud of what I've built. But I remember that when I was first building that business, of course I was teaching every lesson myself and I was a former professional dancer. I danced on really big stages. I was not a professional ballroom dancer.
11:14
I was not a professional couples dancer and I was teaching these wedding couples and granted they were all very much beginner dancers. But I remember having that feeling of like, I don't know if I'm like experienced enough to teach them. I wasn't like a ballroom dancer. Like how am I going to do this or someone's going to do it better than me. I remember
11:37
teaching for years and years and building a clientele and making good money. And I would still have those thoughts of self doubt. And I shared that with you because, hello, welcome to the club. Again, to me, when you're having those thoughts, it's cause you care. You hold yourself to probably an unrealistic high standard, but truly you care. And your nervous system is really trying to protect you there. That is what is happening is that
12:04
your nervous system is doing what it's supposed to do, which is to keep you safe and small because that's what it knows, right? So I opened the show by telling you I'm gonna speak on the biggest stage of my life. Last year was my first year speaking at the wedding MBA. And I was in a room of, I believe there was about 150 people in the room and still huge venue, Las Vegas Convention Center, major opportunity for me. In the Uber on the way to the convention center, I literally called my husband. I was like,
12:33
I don't know what I'm doing. can't do this. Like, I don't know why I thought I could do this. That is a nervous system reaction. Of course I can do this. So when you can kind of identify that when you get those feelings, there's actually nothing wrong. One of my coaches once said to me, what if nothing's wrong? And I love that. It's always a good question to ask yourself, right? And self-doubt really just tells you that you're expanding your wings. You're stepping into your next level.
13:01
So here's what I want you to do when you are feeling that sense of like, Oh, am I good enough? Am I experienced enough to do this thing? I want you to look and find the evidence that you know your stuff. Okay. Find evidence. So for me in the Uber on the way to Las Vegas convention center last year, I could have said, okay, what is the evidence? I know myself. Okay. I have grown not one, but two brands on Instagram and not just followers. I've grown my revenue.
13:30
I have built out organic sales funnels that got me over 5,000 people on my email list. I have coached and mentored other business owners to do this. Right. And I literally am like pumping myself up. Okay. So even if you are at the very beginning stage of your business, there's a reason why you are wanting to do the thing that you are birthing. Right. And you can learn, you can learn as you go. My professional speaking career is taking off.
14:01
I had this vision for it five years ago and I knew I'm not a good speaker. I don't know how to be a good speaker. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to start a podcast. If I have to record a podcast every week, I'm going to become a better speaker because hello practice. I am going to read books about public speaking. I'm going to listen to podcasts about building a professional speaking business. I am going to follow the breadcrumbs of my life, right? Like all these things.
14:31
You don't have to have all the answers. That's not what I'm saying, right? When I say find evidence that you know your stuff, I can say, I've been an educator for 20 years. Yeah, I haven't been giving keynote speeches for 20 years, but I've been teaching people for over 20 years. I am not afraid of being on the stage. I love entertaining and making people laugh. Could I do that on the stage? Absolutely. I was a professional dancer.
14:59
Right? So I'm finding evidence that I do know my stuff. The best leaders and entrepreneurs have plenty of experts supporting them all the time. So remember, it's okay to ask for support. It's okay to not have the answer. You don't have to have it all figured out. You know, not having the answer or not being the most experienced doesn't mean that you failed.
15:27
It just means that you're learning and that you need more support from people who have already done what you want to do. Okay. And that's why investing in coaching and mentorship completely changed my life is I have hired many different coaches and mentors over the last six years, the first 10 years of building my business. I didn't do that. And everything was a slog. Everything was so hard. I made it so much harder for myself. But once I started finding and
15:57
hiring the people who have already done what I want to do, I collapsed time and I was able to do the work that I saw myself doing so much quicker and with more clarity and confidence. And that's why I love the work I do with my clients. In Hot Reels, my 12 month Instagram content lab and in my private coaching is that people come to me because they're like, I want to grow my visibility on social media. I want
16:25
people to know about my business and brand on Instagram and I want to become better at creating content. I understand that's a skill and I want to improve my messaging and I want to learn these organic sales funnels so my content can work for my business while I'm offline hanging out with my kids on the weekend. And I know how to do all that. I've done it for multiple brands and all the businesses that I currently coach and mentor and I have helped over the last few years, right?
16:53
People hire me to shortcut that learning curve for them. And I would say they hire me because, hello, I make it so much more fun, right? Like this isn't our J-O-B, like this is our business that we love. We're entrepreneurs. We get to create the business we want. We get to create our own rules, right? And I love having the energy of that in my programs. So whether it's me or someone else,
17:21
Find a mentor, find support, because that will help you break through the self-doubt so much quicker. So I hope you got something out of that. Next week, we are going to explore imposter syndrome and perfectionism. Ooh, so big. I have so much to say about those. I'm thrilled to share this work with you because these are the keys to long-term success, not only on Instagram, but in
17:50
Business I see Instagram as a mirror right like Instagram is much like our business it mirrors back to us all of our insecurities and So it's an opportunity for us to do the inner work so we can be in our businesses for the long haul and make the massive amounts of money and Time freedom and energetic freedom and location freedom whatever it is that you want. It's all possible for you.
18:20
but you have to be willing to face this inner stuff that can often get in our way and make it so much harder than it needs to be. So I hope you love today's episode and I hope you will tune in next week. If you are not yet on the Hot Reels 12 month Instagram content lab wait list, make sure that you have joined because I'm opening the doors very soon. Hot Reels is my 12 month.
18:46
high touch intimate group coaching program where you will learn how to optimize your Instagram profile and develop a content strategy that is not only driving engagement and reach and followers, but you're going to start to understand the connection of how does this content actually connect into my marketing and sales funnel because you're not here to just be an influencer. You're here to make money, baby.
19:11
So make sure you have joined the Hot Reels wait list. You can know when the doors open. I only have five spots available in the program right now. To join the wait list, all you have to do is follow me on Instagram at Elizabeth Marberry, M-A-R-B-E-R-R-Y. DM me the keyword hot, H-O-T, and my robot assistant will send you the spot to join. Or if you want to go to my website, you can go to ElizabethMarbury.com slash hot.
19:39
That's Elizabeth Marberry, M-A-R-B-E-R-R-Y.com slash hot. You can read all about the program. You can see some of the wins of my past clients in there. Get super pumped. Join the wait list. You can see the investment. Everything is on there. If you are one of those research people where you wanna know every word and detail of what's in the program, that's where you wanna go. And don't forget to join the wait list. Like I said, it'll take you 30 seconds, your name, email, and then you'll just be notified right when the door is open and you can make the best.
20:08
a line decision for you and your business. Thank you so much for listening today. If you loved today's episode, don't forget to share it with a business bestie or colleague who is trying to figure out this thing called Instagram and social media marketing. I'm excited to dive into those next two visibility blocks and really what you can do to transform and break through those so you can have that long-term success on Instagram and in your business next week.
20:34
Thank you so much for listening and I cannot wait to strut it with you next week. Thank you for listening to Strut It. If you're ready to start leveraging Instagram to grow your business, then you're going to want to grab my free monetize your IG guide, where you'll learn seven simple and proven ways to finally make money on Instagram. You can grab your guide at Elizabethmarberry.com slash freebies.
21:03
Elizabeth Marberry.com slash freebies to get my monetize your IG guy. If you got some incredible value from today's episode, be sure to leave a review and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. And I cannot wait to start it with you again next week.
